Sometimes, I feel like in America, we stress too much on what you “do”, instead of who you are, in defining ourselves. We are questioned from practically the time we can speak, into wondering what we will be when we grow up. Will we be like our parents, will we try something new? At the end of the day, what makes you, you?
For as long as I can remember, I felt like what I did defined who I was. I knew I had more to me of course, but I was single for a very long time, lived alone, and pretty much the only constant I had in my life, was my job. As a result, I felt like being a DJ, made me who I was. I also felt like if I lost my job, I’d be devastated, beyond repair. I truly knew nothing more then being a full time radio DJ, and used to fear what life would be like if I were ever to not be one.
I’d day dream sometimes, and picture what I would do without my job, and I truly felt like I’d be lost, a walking zombie. In my head, I was truly under the impression that what I did, defined who I was. Since my job involves a passion of mine, music, in some ways it does define me. I know personally that I’d be lost in a career without music, but that’s only one tiny pore of my very large personality, and what I have to bring to the table.
To be honest, I don’t think I truly fully became 100% secure with myself, until I was married, and even more so, when I had my son. Although doing what you love in this world means you never have to work a day in your life, and I’m lucky to say I have that, it’s not everything. Becoming a wife, and in turn a mother, now that, that is my everything. I’m sure I’d be a little lost still without my work, and would definitely need to have an outlet in music, but my new chapter in my life with motherhood, has opened up so many closed doors, and healed so many insecurities, that I see life now through much more opened eyes.
I’m a little embarrassed, but truth be told, it took me a very long time to realize how deep my soul truly was. Not that it was my fault, having a job that was my longest relationship in the world kind of created that “Lindsay” of the past. It was all I knew, and now I know so, so much more.
I do hope to always work in music, and I’d love to keep my job for as long as humanly possible, but it’s not everything, it’s not what I do that defines me, it’s WHO I am that does.
I am a daughter.
I am a sister.
I am a friend.
I am an aunt.
I am a wife.
I am a yogi.
I am a DJ.
I am a mother.
I am me, wild, passionate, believer of magic, and free………
And though I love what I do, it’s how you do what you do, that also defines your character. I treat any position I am in, with passion. I am passion.
Life is a journey of lessons every single day, and I’m just thankful that the biggest lesson I have learned so far, is that having a family has made who I am complete, and my heart beat with more love and life then anything I’ve ever known.
What defines you? Did you have a moment(s) of clarity, or have you always known?
Namaste, and Rock On!