I’m not sure why I’ve been so secretive about my next plan for life, but I feel as though I’m finally ready to share it. Maybe I was nervous about peoples’ reactions, or maybe I just wanted some kind of privacy, but at the end of the day, this has always been my blog of truth. It’s therapy for me to write, and I have always done so in hopes that one person could take something away from the post.
The thing is, it took me a LONG time to figure out that I wanted to be a radio DJ. Looking back at my childhood photographs, it seemed that it was always “in me”, but I wasn’t self aware of it, until college.
I remember applying to college as a dance major because I had ZERO idea what I wanted to do with my life. I then changed my major to communications to keep it more broad, and danced for “fun”. It really wasn’t until my internship at The Howard Stern Show, that I found my calling. From that point on, I fought very hard daily to become an On Air Personality.
Do I miss it? Sure, I miss the microphone. When you work in radio, you DON’T do it for the money, you do it for the passion. I will always be obsessed with music, and always a DJ by nature, but my soul started to outgrow my last position.
I will forever have the “bug” to talk into a microphone, and even engage with the public. I do hope to get back into it when the right position comes along, but currently, I’m on a new path.
The thing is, I don’t want to ever bad mouth anything on this blog, because I consider myself always a professional no matter how bad the reality is, and/or was…..BUT, that being said, I couldn’t afford to stay at that position anymore. For financial reasons, personal reasons, physical reasons…. there were so, so, many reasons, but one of them that I can talk about, is how much I’ve changed, I think for the better.
There’s the obvious change with gaining a husband and two children under two! (WOAH)…But the not so obvious change was within my heart. I’m the kind of person who thrives on challenges and growth, and I felt very, very, stale where I was. The hours, income, and other factors were not pushing me to be my fullest me, and I outgrew my love for my job. I wanted more.
I started to come up with a new career plan, but I really needed a good push to set me over the edge. When I received that good push, I made the final decision to leave what once was, the dream job of my life. Now, I have a new one.
So, so much has happened in the past years, that it’s not rocket science that I outgrew the job. The hours were Monday through Friday 7pm-midnight, and that alone was a struggle with a marriage, and then children. But again, it wasn’t the REAL reason(s) I moved on. I could’ve stayed if circumstances were different, but they weren’t, and they aren’t. There’s no what if’s here though, there is only “it is what it is”. Many factors that made me decide to move onward and upward were out of my control, so I decided not to settle and remain unhappy, but to reach for more, and go in the direction of my heart, and for my family.
I have decided to go back to school to become a nurse.
There, I said it.
Wow, that was therapeutic.
The universe works in its own magical ways, and everything in the past months to a year has pointed me in this direction. My desire to become a nurse probably started when Parker was born, with a hidden fascination my whole life of hospital shows on TV. But, I don’t think I was ever mature enough, or ready to become one, until I became a mother. I changed, and therefore, so did my needs, my desires, heck the whole package.
I realize that being on the radio was an awesome way to connect to the public, and social media made it more “real”, but I craved more. I wanted and want to make a difference all the time. Obviously like any career, some days will be impossible, some days amazing, but at the end of the day, I needed to find something to pursue that would reward my heart and my soul. Also, I want to raise my kids 100% of the time that they aren’t in school, and nursing with its very wide variety of hours, will enable me to do so.
So there you have it folks, I am going to start my path towards becoming a nurse this summer. Again, it wasn’t a decision that happened overnight, but many factors, and the universe itself, have pointed me in this direction.
I’m beyond scared to start the journey, but that also means that I’m beyond excited. My heart and my being wants more out of this life, and yes I’ll be going to school with tiny humans to take care of at the same time, but they’ll be my motivating factors (and my husband). I want more for them, and I want more for me. You only live once, and it’s NEVER too late to start anything in this lifetime, so I’m taking on this HUGE challenge, and I hope you’ll be a part of my journey as you always have, while I learn how to balance a marriage, children, motherhood, self-love, an education, and a new career….all at the same time. It can be done, and it WILL be done. I will be brave.
Namaste, and Rock On!