To be a mother

I’ve always known I wanted to be a mother, after all, mine is my best friend.

11112170_10153305511658659_2478438092805690976_n

I knew it would be hard, I knew it would be rewarding, I do have three nephews and two nieces….BUT, I didn’t know HOW hard, and HOW rewarding it would be.

15890_10154116674038659_6048685327818241740_n

My son was born two months early.  I was not prepared at all for the sudden preterm labor.  I was not prepared at all to be a mom.  The list goes on and on, but what I did have, was maternal/survival instincts.

unnamed-4

Having my first child in the NICU, was something I never ever imagined would happen to me.  As hard as it was to get through it, it was also rewarding in ways.  I learned how to care for my baby, I learned how to leave my baby, because I had to, and I learned how to be a mother with professionals standing by guiding and teaching me.

1917455_10154003096009621_112732199088351267_n

I can still remember the first time I got to truly hold my son, the way he smelled, and the way my heart burst out of my soul with love for him.

60251_10154005317683659_1847561088836007921_n

Right from the start I had to learn that most of parenting, is out of my control.  Having Parker two months early, not being able to take him home, waiting for him to grow and eat on his own…..From day one, all I could do, was do my best, and I think every single parent on this earth knows what I’m talking about.12801626_10154004852438659_5934112103677681705_nAnd then we finally got to take Parker home, and wound up back in the NICU for another week.  My heart was holding on to many, many, strings by this point.  But, we got through it, because as a parent, you have no choice.   We had our baby two months early, spent a month in the NICU, and bought our first home all within a month’s time span.  Not the plan we had hoped for, but the cards we were dealt with.

12936668_10154088695638659_6302939580229263431_n

To be a mother, is to put someone else first, forever.  Sometimes when people ask me how I’m doing as a mother, I say that the hardest part is realizing that from these moments on, it is never about me.  I actually have to remind myself sometimes when I’m walking into walls, and can’t remember what day it is, and think I can catch up on sleep another day, that I can’t.  There is no other day, I have a newborn who needs me.  That is some serious Sh*t, especially because I love sleep!  But, it’s a phase, kind of….

IMG_2126(1)

Let’s just say I get it now, all of it.  Being a mother is the HARDEST thing I’ve ever done, as to be expected, but it’s also what life is about.  I’ve always known I wanted a family, but didn’t realize how it is the ONLY thing that I’ve really ever wanted.  It seemed like a normal dream when I didn’t have it, but now that I do, I can’t imagine life any other way.  It’s the good stuff, it’s why we are here on this planet.  Sure there other factors that make life grand, but sorry to say, being a parent is the greatest one for me, and I’ve only touched the ice berg.

13062113_1180565775310790_3186109474108718435_n

So forgive me if my head is in a fog and I tell you I have “mom brain”, because I do, and probably always will.  It’s not that we are “dumb”, or forgetful (well maybe a little)…it’s that our  brains have completely morphed into thinking of another person first, our child.  My day consists of feeding Parker, loving Parker, loving my husband, changing Parker, maybe finding time to pee, and feeding myself because that is how Parker eats….Put that on repeat, and that’s my week.  Sometimes it feels like groundhog day, but I know it’ll change in many, magical and insane ways through all of the phases of being a mother.

13043319_10154135370178659_4461023933900829771_n

To be a mother, is the most rewarding, heart string tugging, zombie like gift of life.  To be a mother, is to live this life with meaning and truly become someone else, someone’s mother.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of the mothers out there,  I salute you this year with a large glass of mommy juice, and maybe a few more too with a cheers to pump and dump kind of loving way.   You have my deepest respect, and it’s an honor to be part of your club.  I get it now, I get this thing called life.

13139282_10154145120433659_2159319799418681535_n

And a happy mother’s day to my mother, my best friend, my mentor, the reason I wanted to always be a mom…..The woman who gave birth to two daughters, but wound up raising five children, a leader, a lioness….

10251985_10152435051533659_6420504562556968182_n

I sure do come from a long line of amazingly strong women….

10363320_777037258996979_7430160456219533786_n

and in turn strong children….

13095874_10154135404723659_586489687902604509_n

13076837_10154137879218659_6325306234537805855_n

And to my son, thank you Parker Steven Hrynio for choosing me to be your mother.

Namaste, and Rock On!

  9 Replies to “To be a mother”

  1. Caroline
    May 7, 2016 at 8:56 pm

    Happy Mothers Day, Momma!!! You are amazing. Xoxo

  2. Barbara J. Levin O'Riordan
    May 7, 2016 at 9:09 pm

    Wonderful in every way. Thanks for sharing your heart with all of us.

  3. Anonymous
    May 7, 2016 at 9:11 pm

    So beautiful ♥️ and so true. Happy Mother’s Day Lindsay! Many blessings to you and your family!

  4. May 7, 2016 at 9:23 pm

    Aw, Happy, Happy Mother’s Day to you and send you hugs!!! <3

  5. Tara
    May 7, 2016 at 9:45 pm

    Most rewarding….and frustrating job you will ever have. The club is not for the weak that’s for sure! Happy Mother’s Day Lindsay. Keep on keeping on.

  6. Elena Mastroianni
    May 7, 2016 at 9:50 pm

    Bouquets of hugs and love on your first Mother’s Day Lindsay. ❤️ 💐

  7. Anonymous
    May 7, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    This is a beautiful article. Congratulations to becoming one of us. Enjoy that little baby’s accomplishments every day, because they grow fast. My daughter had your mom as her art teacher in Netcong @ Art Magic for many years

  8. May 7, 2016 at 11:43 pm

    We all chose wisely for this incarnation !
    Happy first Mother’s Day!
    Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoox

  9. M
    May 7, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    Congratulations and happy Mother’s Day! I felt the same after my first was born, this was the entire point of my being, four children later I still feel that has been my greatest achievement in life. Try and fit time in for yourself as well!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.