Mother’s Day, one day, heck we should get a month…just saying. I remember last year, my first Mother’s Day, everything was still BRAND new and rainbows and unicorns. We had taken my son home from the NICU, so nothing in the world could make me happier. I was the happiest mom in the universe, so I thought, but no really, I was.
As my second Mother’s Day approaches, I’ve had a year of lessons, experiences, goals, and battles won and lost now, to put under my mom file. And just WOW. I always knew motherhood was going to be hard, but I really had no idea HOW hard it would be. People say it time and time again, and I will too….Raising a human is the most rewarding job on the planet, but also the HARDEST. If people tell you it isn’t hard??? They’re full of sh*t.
Lets be clear, dads, dads are rockstars too. PARENTS are superheroes in general, BUT, mothers, there is NOTHING like being a mother, call me a bit biased….
As a mom, I NEVER ever think about myself first. I have my child on my brain 24/7, always pondering what the next meal will be, when is the next nap, has he eaten enough today, did he drink enough, did he poop or pee enough, the thoughts are endless. It’s exhausting, it’s motherhood. Absolutely everything I do during the day revolves around my son. At night I’m at work, but from the moment he wakes up to the moment I leave, he comes first. My showers are less, my meals are eating his scraps from the floor, my exercise if there’s energy for exercise, is when it’s convenient to do so, and these days, revolves around the king’s naps..
The biggest lessons I’ve learned this year so far??? So so many, but I’ll focus on the top ones. To begin with, make friends, if you can. You don’t need a lot, just a few who are REAL. Not the ones who have a baby your kid’s age and everything is just AMAZING. No the ones who break down in tears and admit they’re just as bat sh*t crazy as you. Those are the ones to keep around. You’ll lean on them and ask them 800 questions about food, poop, and god only knows.
Second, get off of social media if it starts to upset you. You will probably compare your kid to other kids social media or no social media, but instead of feeling insecure, be proud of everything your kid does on their own timeline. If the “doctors” aren’t worried, you shouldn’t be either. Sometimes even if the doctors are worried, you shouldn’t be. Social media can be fun to share your kid’s milestones and feel good about the first time your kid clapped or rolled over, because seriously, that stuff is the bees knees. But, it can also make you feel inadequate at times. Maybe another mom “looks” like she has all her sh*t together and you feel like you don’t. Or maybe another mother lost all her baby weight, when you haven’t. Ugh, the list goes on, my advice, just get off comparing you and your kid as much as possible. Focus on what’s inside your home, and what’s inside your heart.
Third, and this is a good one, just remember to survive. Seriously, especially that first year, do whatever you need to do to survive. To survive in your marriage, to survive as a parent, to survive in general. You can read all the parenting manuals in the world, but nothing prepares you for motherhood like actually doing it. I know I struggled with a sleepless preemie for what seemed like ETERNITY, and I did whatever it took to get a few minutes of shut eye. I also do whatever it takes to get the kid fed, then , now , and always. I will probably always be guilty of having a preemie and issues with milestones and food (yes I’m always worried about feeding him to this day), but I’m getting a LOT better. I just breathe. By now, if there’s one thing I’ve DEFINITELY learned, it’s that my kid does everything on HIS own timeline. Always.
So, if you’re a veteran mama, a new mama, or a future mama, be good to yourself in this life. Find that one hour per week (if you’re lucky) to maybe do something for yourself? Or not. Heck, just be kind to yourself. Teach your kid to be kind. At the end of the day, we are ALL superheroes, we are ALL mothers, we are ALL fighting our own battles…and we should all raise our children to be kind. No amount of money can buy love and happiness like spending real and quality time with your kiddos. No matter how you’re doing it, did it, or will do it, do it with style. You’re part of the tribe, the hardest working people in the business. You are a freaking warrior, you are a mom. Happy mother’s day to all, I freaking commend you and I get you. Love you,
a fellow new mama who rarely has her sh*t together, but has a LOT of freaking love in her heart.
Namaste, and Rock On!