I remember the days filled with tears, frustration, disappointment, and sadness, and just like my friends said they would be over, they are always in my memory, but seem like a lifetime ago. Today, was not one of those days. Today was a VERY good, beyond amazing, reason to be alive type of day. Today was our 20 week ultrasound, and we are halfway there….
My baby is saying Hi!
Ironically I had a dream last night about my nana who we would’ve named the baby after, had it been a girl. Maybe one day?! In my dream, I was caring for her and making sure she was fed before bedtime. As she laid down to sleep she sang the lyrics of Green Day’s “Time of your Life”, then passed on. I woke up crying, but also felt very comforted. I felt like my nana was telling me the ultra sound was going to be okay, and that she too, was OKAY, and that we all should have the time of our lives. It helped calm some nerves on the way to the appointment, so did having my mother, and mother-in-law with us!
The appointment was about an hour. There were times I didn’t feel so good during the ultra sound because of being on my back for too long, but overall, I rode the high of seeing our little boy dance on the screen. As the ultra sound tech exclaimed, he wasn’t shy about showing us he was a little boy either! That’s my boy!
Those feet, I can’t get enough of his little baby feet!
The waves, when he reached his arms above his little head, I could just die of cuteness!
I can’t lie, his little mushy 3D face sort of reminds me of mine. I’m probably crazy, but as of right now he has my little button nose!
The tech at Atlantic Maternal Fetal Medicine was SO amazing as well! My mothers sat in awe, I watched in awe as Mike soothed me by rubbing my arm, and the lady explained very calmly EVERYTHING! It was more then I could’ve ever imagined, it was MAGIC! I will never ever ever forget today. It’s really, getting real!
I also found out that my baby is blanketed by an anterior placenta. I did feel flutters early on, but I have to admit they aren’t that often. This soothed my brain because I know plenty of women who had anterior placentas and even though you “may” not feel as much, the baby will get big enough in the next few weeks that I will HAVE to feel that munchkin!
After the ultra sound, we took our mothers out for a holiday brunch. It just kept the magic flowing as we continued to speak about the appointment, and our excitement about meeting the little man! He is going to be SO loved, he already is.
There was a time not too long ago I didn’t know if I’d ever get to this point. I didn’t even know if I’d ever get pregnant. One thing I did have though, was HOPE. I never pictured myself not a mother, I always saw children in my future. I never gave up, and used all of the resources I could to make the dream a reality. For my friends/readers who may feel lost or on a difficult path, please, please, never ever give up. Today is the kind of day all of the hard and painful ones make up for. They are a memory, a reminder, but they did not define me. I define me, and right now, I’m a mother.
See you in 20 “ish” weeks my baby boy, I love you.
Namaste, and Rock On!
“Little boy you remind me how so much depends on days made of now.”