As the universe does its thing, some days just happen to be easier then others. Some days are filled with relief after making it out of a long journey, sometimes you’re “in it”, and sometimes, days just seem like a struggle in general. I’ve been having a combination of all of that recently, and with added pregnancy hormones, I’ve found myself having some “stressful” conversations. On the flip side, I’ve also found my unicorns and rainbows.
I was talking to my mother which I do daily, and as we were venting, we also kind of laughed at it all, and talked about all of the positive things going on in our lives. The thing is, there are ALWAYS unicorns and rainbows surrounding us, but our minds can get clouded and caught in between various storms. These days, when my mind gets clouded and I find it hard to breathe at the present day chaos, I have my unicorns and rainbows to ground me back down to earth.
No matter what it is, find it. Personally, I take a deep breath when my mind starts to wander into the negative, and just tell myself that this is ALL part of it, and one day I’ll be on the calm side of “that” particular journey. I mean how many journeys have I been on already?? Have I always come out on the other side stronger and wiser?? Not going to lie, I’m going to have to say yes. Even if it took a long time to get stronger and wiser, I always have, and so will you.
There are many factors clogging my brain these days. There are many personal struggles I’m currently researching how to better my life about, and of course there’s the major one going on every second of the day, I’m in a high risk pregnancy. To be honest, this doesn’t bother me as much as some of the other stuff, even if it should. I think I did most of my worrying before I actually got pregnant, now I’m too tired and too busy to stress too much, but it is , a very long, and insanely worth it, time of my life.
When your first born is a premature baby, AND you’re over 35, you are just the cream of the crop of the high risk club, but in a positive sense, you have a lot of people who have your back. With my first born, I had normal routine check ups, no extra attention, and whoops, he decided to come two months early without a warning sign. This time around, I am taking weekly shots to help prevent a preterm baby, on top of a ton of other appointments to just always “check in”. It’s actually becoming my unicorns and rainbows, rather then a stressful situation. Unlike last time, I get to see my baby a lot more, and I have some amazingly intelligent people as our “body guards”, helping us get further along in the pregnancy.
It’s a lot to think about, on top of spending my days chasing a one year old in the summer heat, with a belly, and then surviving the night shift at work. It’s a hell of a lot. But, like I said, when the anxiety kicks in and I don’t know how I’ll get through ANY of it, I think about my unicorns and my rainbows, my plans and my goals, and I immediately breathe a little easier.
By the way, my unicorns and rainbows include a life plan I can’t talk about just yet, but the wheels are turning, and I’m seeking professional happiness. And on a personal note, since I haven’t blogged about it yet, WE ARE HAVING A GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every time I say it out loud I get goose bumps and butterflies in my stomach. I still can’t believe it’s true, it feels TOO good to be true, but dang it, it is. It’s the good stuff. It’s my unicorn and my rainbow, with sprinkles on top. It’s magic and dreams coming true, it’s a future family of four, that makes all of the journeys leading up to it, make sense. It’s all happening, it’s all worth it.
And P.S. ……Ms baby 2 is going to be a warrior, look out world, Wonder Woman the 2nd is cooking inside my belly.
Namaste, and Rock On!