I’ve been thinking a lot lately about “constants”, things that make us feel like ourselves, grounded, safe. I think I’ve discussed this with my sister Tamara as well, or maybe she even wrote about it, but it’s been on my mind alot. Interestingly enough, I’m learning that they happen from day 1 through watching my child grow.
His changing table. Oddly enough, it is his favorite place to be. It doesn’t work every time, but most of the time, we can put him down and his entire personality shifts into instant happy baby mode. It’s as if he knows that no matter where we take him, or what he is experiencing, he knows he’s home. He smiles and laughs, talks at high speed, and doesn’t stop moving. It’s an honor and pleasure to watch, and I love how even though he’s only 5 months old, he knows he is “home”.
There’s holding hands. When my son was first born, I wasn’t able to hold him. Since he was my first, I didn’t really know anything else, but I knew it felt wrong. I longed for my child, but no matter what, we always would reach for the others’ hand/finger, thru the whole of the incubator, and we still do.
Snuggles. I have to believe that being with my son all day while he grew in the NICU, holding him and loving on him, made an impact on him then and now. His favorite place to be, other then his changing table, is snuggled up on my chest. It’s my “go to survival mode” method in the middle of the night, the middle of the day, and just when I need him close to my heart, and he needs me back.
Constants bring us peace, they can be things, places, people, or feelings, anything that makes you forget everything that’s going on in the world, and just be. Fleetwood Mac, ironically the band Parker was born to, is my “grounding music”. My “tribe” of people keep me feeling “human”. And, oddly enough, sometimes my work is a constant for me. Having my radio show for over ten years, it’s the longest relationship I ever had. With so many changes in my life, and moves to my home, it’s the one place that when I get to, I feel like myself, guess I’m in the right career!
Rituals, schedules, patterns, they all go hand in hand to make us feel like ourselves. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE going on vacation, equally as much as I love coming home to my “normalcy”. I feel grounded when I return, and leaving makes me appreciate my “constant” of what is my normal life even more.
With babies, their lives change the second you turn your head. I’m experiencing that first hand, so it’s nice to know, that in an ever changing world, and ever changing life, there are constants to make us feel safe.
What are the constants in your life? Are they people? Places? What grounds you the most?
Namaste, and Rock On!