Sometimes, all it takes is one person, one event, one “thing” to change your entire path, mood, week, etc.
For some reason, lately I feel like I’ve been hitting a wall every time I try to take control of my life, and my health. This pregnancy hasn’t been the easiest one, but again, nothing in my life worth achieving EVER has been. It’s no shocker I have many hurdles and mountains to climb to reach the most amazing prize at the end of the journey, my daughter. I know that all of “this” will be a faded memory, just as Parker’s journey to Parker has become one, but right now, it isn’t, it’s MY life.
After being diagnosed with gestational diabetes, I had to take a class and learn how to eat x amount of carbs/fats/proteins every few hours of the day, while checking my blood levels four times. Okay sure, that’s a hurdle but not the worst kind. Until my meter broke and the CVS took three tries to get me the right testing strips. All mindless petty details, but all things that added up when a woman is scared, stressed, sleepless, and HORMONAL. P.S. guys, hormones are real. REALLY real.
I won’t get into my drama because quite frankly it’s MY drama and not worth going over, but I will say that my mind, and my body have been on edge and very tense until today. All it took was that right person, or people I should say, that were willing to actually LISTEN to me, and treat me like a human, a scared human, and not a number. I’m telling you, I have met some of the most amazing people of my life in the medical career, whether it having to do with me, or my son, and future daughter. But to be honest, I was also dealing with some NOT too kind or compassionate ones as well. My thought process is that if you work in a sensitive field, maybe take the time to actually listen to your patients, look at their charts, and maybe hear their needs. No?
The other problem is I’m too nice. Sure I stick up for myself when I need too, but I also avoid drama as much as possible. All it took though was that one person today to say to me out loud, ” THIS. This is YOUR life, and this is your baby’s life. You MUST speak up and be aggressive.” It finally hit me. I needed to do more, and speak more. My daughter clearly doesn’t have a voice yet, and until she does, I’m her voice, and gosh darn it, I’m mine too. So I did, I spoke up, I got people to LISTEN to me, and I met the right people who could help me make that happen.
I’m not telling my story for you to compare it to your own life as far as pregnancy goes. The thing is, the moral of the story is, you don’t have to be pregnant, or have two scary pregnancies, etc etc. You just have to have a voice, and a life. No matter what you’re doing in your life, don’t forget that it is in fact, YOUR life. I was feeling all the weight of the world and fear I didn’t need to feel. All it took was that one, or a few people, who truly made my entire week/month etc.
Like anything in life, there will always be things and/or people that create obstacles for us to be challenged over, but there are also really, really amazing people out there who can literally change your world. I remember Parker’s nurse Claudia in the NICU completely changed my whole experience there for the better, just by being there for me. My best friends Donna, Heather, and Jen became even closer to me, just by being there for me. The list goes on, the events go on, the moral of the story is to find those people who WILL be there for you, and to always, always, trust your inner AND your outer voice.
Namaste, and Rock on!